The Question Is The Answer | 9 Life PathDecember 19, 2023
2 Life Path | What You Resist Will Persist?December 20, 2023
1 Life Path | What You Resist Will Persist?
I’ve often used the quote: “What you resist will persist.”
And yet in the past months I have questioned that notion.
Yes, resistance as avoidance doesn’t just disappear or regress into the sidelines.
Whatever we want to avoid does have a tendency to persistently make its way back around.
Like when … you go out for one drink and it always ends up being five. (Resistance to practicing self-discipline)
Like when … you know that the way your partner verbally undermines you when you’re with friends or family isn’t healthy or in any way all right with you and yet you continue to let it slide. (Resistance to standing up for yourself)
Like when … you feel as though you’re marching into purgatory every day when you show up to work and yet do nothing to change jobs or improve your situation because, well, because. (Resistance to change or to taking action)
And while “What you resist will persist” is often true, I’m finding there are times when it isn’t true.
When in actuality, active resistance results in a reconfiguration of the persistent issue.
This form of active resistance can actually transmute and reformulate the issue at hand.
The key is “active intentional resistance.”
Let’s use the gym metaphor.
In order to build muscle, resistance training is key.
The more weight, the more resistance.
The heavier it is, the more attuned your body gets.
The more often you engage in resistance training, the easier it gets to endure longer period of time training.
The more reps you do, the stronger and more resilient you become.
If we carry forward with this metaphor, we can revisit the idea that “what you resist will persist.”
How can we think about re-thinking what we resist and why we resist it?
1 Life Path: The Innovative Leader
As a 1 Life Path, here is your usual point of resistance: FEAR OF FAILURE
- You will always be met with people, situations, and experiences that pull you into dependent situations. This can be within your family of origin, friendships, work colleagues, or intimate partnerships.
- Time after time you’ll be met with opportunities to fall down and pick yourself up again.
- The coping mechanism is either avoidance of taking responsibility for yourself and your actions OR putting up a defensive wall of assertion and lacking consideration for others.
RETOOL: As you’re met with opportunities to step into a healthy level of independence and to stand on your own two feet, understand that this isn’t something to be avoided and you’re not being punished by continuing to have experiences that push you to individuate and step into a healthy sense of self-actualization. THIS IS THE POINT!
As you build your “independence” muscles: Focus on healthy assertion, seeing other people’s strengths and point of view, and taking responsibility for your actions (and inactions!).