1 Life Path | What’s Your Attachment Style?
December 27, 2023
3 Life Path | What’s Your Attachment Style?
December 29, 20232 Life Path | What’s Your Attachment Style?
There’s a lot of conversation about Attachment Styles or Attachment Theory as we collectively evaluate our personal relationships.
Attachment styles are psychological frameworks that describe how individuals relate to others in close relationships, particularly in the context of emotional bonds.
The premise here is that we’re “hard-wired” or programmed in our earliest years as to how to engage in relationships.
Ultimately, each of us desires to love and be loved, to have our needs met, to trust our care providers, and to feel a stable and consistent sense of love and caring.
The early bonds between children and their caregivers sets the groundwork (like it or not!) for the way in which each and every one of us seek out romantic partnerships and it also shows up with friendships, family of origin dynamics, and work colleagues.
These styles are characterized by patterns of emotional and behavioral responses to attachment-related situations.
Psychologist Mary Ainsworth (and others) have conducted extensive research on attachment theory, leading to the identification of four main attachment styles.
Most of us fall more distinctly into one category and yet many can have more of a “hybrid” attachment style. Yet the four “official” attachment styles are a great place to start.
The 4 Attachment Styles
Anxious-Preoccupied Attachment
Dismissive-Avoidant Attachment
Fearful-Avoidant (Disorganized/Chaotic) Attachment
Secure Attachment
Attachment styles can develop early in life based on interactions with caregivers and later influence how individuals engage in adult relationships.
However, they are not fixed and can be modified or change over time through therapy, self-awareness, and new relationship experiences.
Understanding your attachment style and that of your partner can be valuable in improving communication and relationship dynamics.
Let’s break down how the 2 Life Path might engage or present with each Attachment Style.
**I’m not a licensed therapist and this article is meant to offer a numerological perspective that might shed light on the core issue each Life Path might have that within each described Attachment Style. It is not meant to diagnose or be prescriptive.
2 Life Path
Code Word: INSECURITY
2 Life Path | Anxious-Preoccupied Attachment: People with anxious-preoccupied attachment styles often have a high need for emotional closeness and fear abandonment. They are inclined to worry about their relationships and may be excessively preoccupied with their partners. This attachment style can lead to clinginess, a fear of rejection, and a tendency to seek constant reassurance and validation.
This attachment style may present as extreme levels of low self-esteem, leading to being “used and abused” in relationships. The high need for emotional closeness tips over into enmeshment and the 2 Life Path being on “high alert” at all times, scanning your partner’s every move and attempting to out-guess their motivations. This shows up as being text-obsessed (s/he didn’t text me back within five minutes! S/he’s must be having an affair!) through simply being “on-call” for the other person 24/7.
2 Life Path | Dismissive-Avoidant Attachment: Individuals with dismissive-avoidant attachment styles often value their independence and self-sufficiency. They may downplay the importance of close relationships and may be uncomfortable with emotional intimacy. These individuals tend to be emotionally distant, self-reliant, and may have difficulty expressing their own feelings or empathizing with the emotions of others.
For the 2 Life Path, this attachment style may present as either childish immaturity or with a combative, tough exterior. The Dismissive-Avoidant attachment style pushes the 2 Life Path to be super-needy and self-centered in the way a child might be needy and self-focused. There’s an under-developed or stunted maturity that can manifest as “If you can’t meet my needs fully and immediately (even though I really don’t know what they are and certainly I can’t enunciate them clearly), I will drop you from my life.” Or this can show up as a gruff, dismissive, jaded way of dealing with life and with relationships. This happens when the 2 Life Path resorts to self-protection or lashing out at others as a preemptive strike, hoping to hurt someone else before they themselves can be hurt.
2 Life Path | Fearful-Avoidant (Disorganized/Chaotic) Attachment: This attachment style is characterized by a combination of anxious and avoidant traits. Individuals with a fearful-avoidant style want close relationships but also have a fear of being hurt or rejected. They may struggle with inconsistent behavior, vacillating between the desire for closeness and the need for distance. This attachment style can be rooted in past traumas or unresolved issues.
This attachment style may present as jumping into relationships very quickly and fully, only to have your illusions dashed and then the 2 Life Path spends a good portion of time feeling trapped, disappointed, and ashamed. This stems from the 2 Life Path’s tendency toward dependence and on their deep need to be involved in relationships. The Fearful-Avoidant (Disorganized/Chaotic) attachment style can present itself as the 2 Life Path attracting unhealthy or even dangerous partnerships, yet there is an “addiction” to the drama (and “drama” rhymes with “trauma” for a reason!)
2 Life Path | Secure Attachment: Individuals with secure attachment styles tend to have a positive view of themselves and others. They are comfortable with intimacy, trust their partners, and believe that they can depend on others as well as be depended upon. They are able to express their emotions and needs openly and deal with conflict in a healthy manner. These individuals are generally more self-assured and less anxious or avoidant in their relationships.
This attachment looks like the healthiest and most dynamic version of the 2 Life Path! With a Secure attachment style, the 2 Life Path devotes time and intentional energy to self-discovery before they dive into relationships where they’re constantly seeking validation, acknowledgment, and for their partner to tell them who they are. With a Secure attachment style, the 2 Life Path is loving and lovable, has clear and supple emotional and energetic boundaries, and knows who s/he is under all circumstances. In this scenario, for instance, when the 2 Life Path is asked where they want to go to dinner, their answer is: “I’ve heard that the new Italian place over on Main Street is really good, why don’t we give it a try?” rather than: “Oh, I don’t know. I don’t care. Whatever you want is fine.”
