1 Life Path | What’s Your Attachment Style?

1 Life Path | What’s Your Attachment Style?

 

There’s a lot of conversation about Attachment Styles or Attachment Theory as we collectively evaluate our personal relationships.

Attachment styles are psychological frameworks that describe how individuals relate to others in close relationships, particularly in the context of emotional bonds.

The premise here is that we’re “hard-wired” or programmed in our earliest years as to how to engage in relationships.

Ultimately, each of us desires to love and be loved, to have our needs met, to trust our care providers, and to feel a stable and consistent sense of love and caring.

The early bonds between children and their caregivers sets the groundwork (like it or not!) for the way in which each and every one of us seek out romantic partnerships and it also shows up with friendships, family of origin dynamics, and work colleagues.

These styles are characterized by patterns of emotional and behavioral responses to attachment-related situations.

Psychologist Mary Ainsworth (and others) have conducted extensive research on attachment theory, leading to the identification of four main attachment styles.

Most of us fall more distinctly into one category and yet many can have more of a “hybrid” attachment style.  Yet the four “official” attachment styles are a great place to start.

 

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The 4 Attachment Styles

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Anxious-Preoccupied Attachment

Dismissive-Avoidant Attachment

Fearful-Avoidant (Disorganized/Chaotic) Attachment

Secure Attachment

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Attachment styles can develop early in life based on interactions with caregivers and later influence how individuals engage in adult relationships.

However, they are not fixed and can be modified or change over time through therapy, self-awareness, and new relationship experiences.

Understanding your attachment style and that of your partner can be valuable in improving communication and relationship dynamics.

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Let’s break down how the 1 Life Path might engage or present with each Attachment Style.

**I’m not a licensed therapist and this article is meant to offer a numerological perspective that might shed light on the core issue each Life Path might have that within each described Attachment Style. It is not meant to diagnose or be prescriptive.

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1 Life Path

Code Word:  CODEPENDENCY

 

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1 Life Path | Anxious-Preoccupied Attachment: People with anxious-preoccupied attachment styles often have a high need for emotional closeness and fear abandonment. They are inclined to worry about their relationships and may be excessively preoccupied with their partners. This attachment style can lead to clinginess, a fear of rejection, and a tendency to seek constant reassurance and validation.

This attachment style may present as excessive levels of co-dependent behaviors. Fear of abandonment can show up as being overly controlling with your partner, not allowing them to do things independently of you or without your permission (whether “spoken” or “unspoken” in terms of agreement or permission). The Anxious Attachment Style shows up for the 1 Life Path as being very dependent on others—from parents to friends to spouse and children.

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1 Life Path | Dismissive-Avoidant Attachment: Individuals with dismissive-avoidant attachment styles often value their independence and self-sufficiency. They may downplay the importance of close relationships and may be uncomfortable with emotional intimacy. These individuals tend to be emotionally distant, self-reliant, and may have difficulty expressing their own feelings or empathizing with the emotions of others.

This attachment style may present an inability to create lasting or healthy relationships with others based on narcissistic behaviors. The 1 Life Path with a Dismissive-Avoidant attachment style tends to become the victim within their relationships – the one no one understands or appreciates enough. The style of relating taps into the 1 Life Path’s innate lack of self-esteem and kicks it up a notch. An Avoidant Attachment Style can leave the 1 Life Path alone, bitter, and angry.

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1 Life Path | Fearful-Avoidant (Disorganized/Chaotic) Attachment: This attachment style is characterized by a combination of anxious and avoidant traits. Individuals with a fearful-avoidant style want close relationships but also have a fear of being hurt or rejected. They may struggle with inconsistent behavior, vacillating between the desire for closeness and the need for distance. This attachment style can be rooted in past traumas or unresolved issues.

This attachment style may present as a tendency to be reckless and volatile, making the 1 Life Path unavailable and unable to truly see another person or nurture a mature, adult relationship with one person (if a spouse or significant other). This shows up with friends, family, and children as a tendency to be unreliable and self-centered. This can also show up with the 1 Life Path turning to drugs, alcohol, or risky behaviors. A Fearful-Avoidant attachment style may present as the 1 Life Path “love bombing” a partner and then disengaging without notice or reason.

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1 Life Path | Secure Attachment: Individuals with secure attachment styles tend to have a positive view of themselves and others. They are comfortable with intimacy, trust their partners, and believe that they can depend on others as well as be depended upon. They are able to express their emotions and needs openly and deal with conflict in a healthy manner. These individuals are generally more self-assured and less anxious or avoidant in their relationships.

This attachment looks like the healthiest and most dynamic version of the 1 Life Path! With a Secure Attachment Style, the 1 Life Path lives a life with a resilient and healthy sense of independence. They’re able have conversations with other people (rather than monologues!) and they are interested and care about other people’s thoughts, ideas, and feelings. They create dynamic and co-creative dynamics within all their relationships. They march to the beat of their own drummer, yet they lead wisely and well. In intimate partnerships, they have come to learn how to give-and-take and have learned to see their relationship as a true team.