8 Life Path | What’s Your Attachment Style?
January 8, 20249 Life Path | What’s Your Attachment Style?
There’s a lot of conversation about Attachment Styles or Attachment Theory as we collectively evaluate our personal relationships.
Attachment styles are psychological frameworks that describe how individuals relate to others in close relationships, particularly in the context of emotional bonds.
The premise here is that we’re “hard-wired” or programmed in our earliest years as to how to engage in relationships.
Ultimately, each of us desires to love and be loved, to have our needs met, to trust our care providers, and to feel a stable and consistent sense of love and caring.
The early bonds between children and their caregivers sets the groundwork (like it or not!) for the way in which each and every one of us seek out romantic partnerships and it also shows up with friendships, family of origin dynamics, and work colleagues.
These styles are characterized by patterns of emotional and behavioral responses to attachment-related situations.
Psychologist Mary Ainsworth (and others) have conducted extensive research on attachment theory, leading to the identification of four main attachment styles.
Most of us fall more distinctly into one category and yet many can have more of a “hybrid” attachment style. Yet the four “official” attachment styles are a great place to start.
The 4 Attachment Styles
Anxious-Preoccupied Attachment
Dismissive-Avoidant Attachment
Fearful-Avoidant (Disorganized/Chaotic) Attachment
Secure Attachment
Attachment styles can develop early in life based on interactions with caregivers and later influence how individuals engage in adult relationships.
However, they are not fixed and can be modified or change over time through therapy, self-awareness, and new relationship experiences.
Understanding your attachment style and that of your partner can be valuable in improving communication and relationship dynamics.
Let’s break down how the 9 Life Path might engage or present with each Attachment Style.
**I’m not a licensed therapist and this article is meant to offer a numerological perspective that might shed light on the core issue each Life Path might have that within each described Attachment Style. It is not meant to diagnose or be prescriptive.
9 Life Path
Code Word: BELLIGERENCE
9 Life Path | Anxious-Preoccupied Attachment: People with anxious-preoccupied attachment styles often have a high need for emotional closeness and fear abandonment. They are inclined to worry about their relationships and may be excessively preoccupied with their partners. This attachment style can lead to clinginess, a fear of rejection, and a tendency to seek constant reassurance and validation.
This attachment style may present as someone who has a tendency to choose partners who consistently give them the message that they’re unworthy or not good enough. In this scenario, the 9 constantly tries to please the unpleaseable partner, jumping through flaming hoops, but to no avail. This stems from early childhood dynamics (if not past life experience) where they’re consistently placed in the role of the outsider. This attachment style can also present with the 9 Life Path anxiously attempting to please others, yet on his or her own terms and for an underlying sense of control or personal gain. The 9 Life Path is a highly empathic and emotionally-sensitive soul, yet they can bypass these characteristics (or gifts) by blocking their emotions or by disassociating from their bodies. In this way, the 9 Life Path has difficulty reading “social cues” and might attempt to cover insecurity with the Anxious-Preoccupied attachment style. On the other hand, this attachment style presents with high-levels of codependency,
9 Life Path | Dismissive-Avoidant Attachment: Individuals with dismissive-avoidant attachment styles often value their independence and self-sufficiency. They may downplay the importance of close relationships and may be uncomfortable with emotional intimacy. These individuals tend to be emotionally distant, self-reliant, and may have difficulty expressing their own feelings or empathizing with the emotions of others.
For the 9 Life Path, this attachment style can present when the egoistic Self comes to the forefront for the 9. Even though the 9 Life Path is the “old soul” and the humanitarian of numerology, this doesn’t mean they arrive with these characteristics all practiced and polished! On the contrary, the 9 must learn how to funnel their highly-charged creativity and passions into attributes that serve them and serve their relationships. The Dismissive-Avoidant attachment style is the result of the 9 Life Path’s idealism (this can devolve into pessimism or bitterness), which can be played out both positively and negatively. With this attachment style, the 9 Life Path wants total control over their relationship partners under the guise of generosity and helpfulness. Yet a fear of loss or being hurt (again) keeps the 9 at arms-length or keeps them from fully committing. This can show up with intimate partners and also with friends, family and colleagues. Opting in and opting out without warning or explanation can be a trademark of this attachment style, as well as workaholism.
9 Life Path | Fearful-Avoidant (Disorganized/Chaotic) Attachment: This attachment style is characterized by a combination of anxious and avoidant traits. Individuals with a fearful-avoidant style want close relationships but also have a fear of being hurt or rejected. They may struggle with inconsistent behavior, vacillating between the desire for closeness and the need for distance. This attachment style can be rooted in past traumas or unresolved issues.
This attachment style shows up when they lean toward the more other-worldly, quirky, creative aspects of the 9 Life Path. Not that I know the intricacies of their personal lives, yet for the sake of example: think about 9 Life Path’s Prince, Elvis Presley, and Jim Carrey, just to mention a few who might have experienced this attachment style at some time in their lives. In the extreme, this attachment style shows up as dramatic and intense immediate attractions and obsessive attachment, then the 9 moves on quickly to the next thing or creates unhealthy enmeshment with their partners.
9 Life Path | Secure Attachment: Individuals with secure attachment styles tend to have a positive view of themselves and others. They are comfortable with intimacy, trust their partners, and believe that they can depend on others as well as be depended upon. They are able to express their emotions and needs openly and deal with conflict in a healthy manner. These individuals are generally more self-assured and less anxious or avoidant in their relationships.
This attachment looks like the healthiest and most dynamic version of the 9 Life Path! With a Secure attachment style, the 9 Life Path is an empathetic romantic who can see into your soul and who will go to the ends of the earth to help and support you. The balanced and secure 9 Life Path is force of nature, a loving and giving presence, and is there for the long haul. The 9 Life Path with this attachment style is spiritually-centered and can move wth the flow of life rather than against it. They’re supportive yet allow others to make their own mistakes and to take responsibility for themselves. They’ve learned how to care for themselves and their physical and emotional needs.
