Are You An INNIE or an OUTIE? Confrontation by the Numbers

How do you manage confrontation?

Are you someone who holds it all in until it comes exploding out like an Atom Bomb? Or are you the one who attacks before you can be attacked, just to be safe? Or maybe you’re the one who laughs it off and then guzzles down that bottle of wine in record time?

Yes, ’tis the season for the volcanic gurgling of guilt, obligation, and skewed expectations. It’s a great time to explore the ways in which we handle anger and other emotions that are generally tagged as “no-no’s” or just socially unacceptable.

Let’s do an overview, by the numbers.

We’ll use the Life Path number again as our guide. If you don’t know your Life Path number, click here to do the calculation.

We’ll gauge the over-arching ways that each Life Path number handles confrontation and other situations in which we could ideally say:

  • No, thank you. I already have a commitment that day.
  • How about we draw names this year and have a limit on gift giving?
  • This year I’m doing things differently.
  • I really don’t enjoy doing that, thanks anyway.
  • What I’d really love to do instead would be [fill in the blank].

Looks easy enough, right? Yet when we’re confronted with the people and situations that trigger us – eh, not so easy.

THIS IS A BROAD OVERVIEW. Have fun with it and see if it resonates with you.

So, are you an:

INNIE = You keep your emotions and true feelings hidden, locking them inside of you with an airtight, hermetic seal.

OUTIE = You bask in stating your opinions, feelings, and any other thought on the matter with force, vigor, and just a bit of bravado.

INNIE or OUTIE . . . by the Numbers

Life Path One:
Your ultimate goal for the season?

You’re an OUTIE.

  • How does it translate? On the overactive side of your One Life Path, you can be the consummate confrontationalist (almost like a conversationalist, but not really! Ha . . . ). You have a tendency to want to whip everyone into submission. Or at least you want to take the lead in activities and make sure that you have the lion’s share of the control.
  • On the underactive side of your One Life Path, you can retreat into your own head and opt out of confrontation. Often, though, this comes at a price, which is usually another form of retreat; into addictions and destractions – anything to use as a shield against stepping up and holding your own in a healthy, balanced manner.
  • Think about: Going with the flow and allowing other ideas and ways of doing things into your radar. You might be surprised at what you gain from opening up to other ideas and traditions. You’re charming and creative. Tap into those aspects of yourself and enjoy!

Life Path Two:
Your ultimate goal for the season?
HARMONY. LOVE. PEACE. And some acknowledgement for all you do.

You’re an INNIE.

  • How does it translate? On the overactive side of your Two Life Path, tis’ the season for depression and ulcers. You’re a walking “Smiley Face” and just want this whole season to be brimming with holiday cheer, peace, and love. The result? You’re sorely disappointed to the point of despair and frustration.
  • On the underactive side of your Two Life Path, you can put up a reactive shield of “Don’t Touch This!” as a form of self-protection. You’re so emotionally sensitive that you can default into childish self-centeredness and aggressive communication.
  • Think about: Setting up some clear boundaries – first with yourself and then with those around you. What do I mean? If you’re always the one organizing the holiday party and you resent it every year, why not ask for some assistance this time? When you ask from your heart and not from a position as a martyr, you’ll actually get a chance to enjoy the festivities rather than being resentful about having to do all the work . . . again. Your the ultimate Love Bug and the holiday season can be a satisfying, warm-and-fuzzy time for you. Don’t take things personally and you’ll thrive!

Life Path Three:
Your ultimate goal for the season?

You’re an INNIE.

  • How does it translate? On the overactive side of your Three Life Path, you’re jumping around from place to place, party to party, store to store – so that you have virtually no time or energy leftover to be truly emotionally engaged. You can opt out of the game with superficial activities.
  • On the underactive side of your Three Life Path, you’re one of the most emotionally sensitive of the Life Path numbers (almost rivaling the Two!), so you can find this time of year to be intensely over-whelming. Yet most of the time, your tendency is to hold in your feelings, mulling them around and around, over and over in your mind in an attempt to come up with a linear line of justification for how you feel and what you might expect otherwise. Of course, you never express it because it’s impossible to place logical lines around your emotional expression. So you just suck it up.
  • Think about: Giving yourself a break! How about you write yourself a permission slip to be human, warts and all. You expect a lot from yourself – you’re a giving soul and want everyone to be happy. If you can, understand that it’s not your job to make it all super-spectacular for everyone. If you’re feeling anxious about it, take a step back and see if you really, really need to be engaging in whatever it is. You’re a joyful and fun-loving soul and the holiday season can bring out the best in your abilities to entertain and bring out the best in people.

Life Path Four:
Your ultimate goal for the season?

You’re an OUTIE.

  • How does it translate? On the overactive side of your Four Life Path, this season can bring out the bulldozer in you. It’s your way or the highway, so pick sides and team up! You want everything planned ahead of time and those people who are spur-of-the-moment really get on your nerves.
  • On the underactive side of your Four Life Path, this season can bring up a lot of past trauma. It really can. This can be a difficult time of year. You’re usually working pretty darn hard anyway, and so you’re feeling the pressure as you attempt to juggle holiday demands.
  • Think about: Focusing on being a bit more flexible. This is a great time to solidify new traditions that you enjoy and give yourself permission to relax. Yet no one will do it for you; you have to make it happen for yourself! You love it when everything is organized and people are relaxed and enjoying themselves. You’ve got a lot of great things to give to yourself and your loved ones this season.

Life Path Five:
Your ultimate goal for the season?

You’re an OUTIE.

  • How does it translate? On the overactive side of your Five Life Path, you can burn in hole in your socks running around to all the parties, getting all the shopping done, and worrying about whatever it is you’re choosing to worry about. This can be a season of indulgence for you – too much everything! – especially food and alcohol.
  • On the underactive side of your Five Life Path, this season can bring up many of your fears. Don’t have enough money? OMG! Hard to deal with family matters? I’m going to die! Feeling overwhelmed? Just throw me off a bridge!
  • Think about: Slowing down! I know you feel that life is an “All-U-Can-Eat” Smorgasbord and you aren’t getting your money’s worth unless you’re piling it on your plate and going back for seconds (and thirds!). Trust me on this. You won’t miss anything monumental when you choose your events wisely and with some reserve. You’ll feel SO much better and more effective when you do. You’re a friend that people love to have around and the holidays are a perfect time for you to spread your innate playfulness and holiday cheer.

Life Path Six:
Your ultimate goal for the season?

You’re an INNIE.

  • How does it translate? On the overactive side of your Six Life Path, you might need to check into the Exhaustion Wing of the hospital, because you’re non-stop organizing, planning, decorating, buying the perfect gifts, making sure that everyone and everything is picture-perfect.
  • On the underactive side of your Six Life Path, you’re super-sensitive and feel as though you’re taking on much more than your share of the responsibility (like always). You can set yourself up for some heightened frustration if you take the holiday-world single handedly on your shoulders.
  • Think about: Allowing (yes, allowing) your family and friends to participate in the planning and execution of the festivities. This means you have to let go of your perfectionism and go with the imperfect flow. Can you do it? You make everything look so easy and effortless! Make sure you step back and enjoy the beautiful experiences you helped create.

Life Path Seven:
Your ultimate goal for the season?


  • How does it translate? On the overactive side of your Seven Life Path, you can command a combat scene worthy of The Lord of the Rings with your verbal sparring. You can have a tongue as sharp as a dagger and you don’t mind using it! This usually comes into play after years of feeling as though you’ve been used and abused. Think twice, speak once.
  • On the underactive side of your Seven Life Path, you’re the ultimate pleaser and so this can be a season for nervous rashes, weight gain, and emotional meltdowns. As the song says: “You can’t please everyone, so you’ve got to please yourself.” You might consider putting this song on your listening device and playing it throughout December. Seriously. (even if you think Ricky Nelson is dorky . . . it’s a great song!)
  • Think about: How would you truly like to spend the holiday? You’re always seeking your own personal Truth. This is a perfect time to go with the flow and also to excavate what’s truly important to you personally. Make sure to carve out some “alone” time when you can rest and rejuvenate. You might want to ask for a massage or a healing session as a gift from one of your loved ones. You’re a people pleaser and love to be of use and service. Make sure to give with your heart (not out of obligation) and keep some leftovers for yourself!

Life Path Eight:
Your ultimate goal for the season?

You’re an OUTIE

  • How does it translate? On the overactive side of your Eight Life Path, you can be outrageously generous during the holiday season, yet sometimes you place a few strings on your generosity. Make sure you’re giving from your heart rather than as a control mechanism.
  • On the underactive side of your Eight Life Path, this can be a super-difficult time of year for you if you’re constantly stressing about money. You’ll want to spend more than you have and yet you dread the aftermath. You can also experience some “flash-backs” from days gone by. You’ve often been a person whose had a fair amount of obstacles in your life. Focus on the positive and place the trauma in the back seat. You’ll be glad you did.
  • Think about: What do you feel this holiday season is really all about? I’m amazed when I watch A Charlie Brown’s Christmas and the theme is the commercialization of Christmas – and this was in the 1970s! Put yourself in the role of Linus this season. Contemplate the true meaning of the holiday season and what it means to you. That might keep you from straying into the abyss. You may just decide to give everyone on your gift list a little tree to plant. 🙂

Life Path Nine:
Your ultimate goal for the season?

You’re an INNIE

  • How does it translate? On the overactive side of your Nine Life Path, this season can bring on some despair about all of those who are in need in the world. You have a tendency to have your heart broken by the plight of the less fortunate among us. Yet you can also be quite a proselytizer when you have your “soap box” with you. So in that way, you can easily slip into being an Outie!
  • On the underactive side of your Nine Life Path, this season can bring up some bitterness and resentment about things that have happened in the past. It can be a time when you replay “Memory Lane,” whether that’s the “Happy Reel” or the “Not So Happy Reel.”
  • Think about: Your life’s mission is to give in a humanitarian fashion and what a better time than the holidays to focus on one thing you feel strongly about and give of your time or money in a way that is useful and feels very satisfying to you. Onward and upward! You mere presence adds depth and grace to holiday events. Tap into your open sense of higher purpose and you can’t go wrong.

If you’ve gotten charts done with me or have had a session (or sessions) going over your individual numbers, you know that the other numbers in your chart provide you with a much more detailed view of yourself. In particular, those of you who have your charts, look at your Life Path number AND your Expression number and read BOTH of the sections. You might identify with your Expression number during the holidays, because it indicates the manner in which you’ll go about achieving your Life Path purpose.